difference to other types of relationships

[loredanaghidarcea]

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[osiris]

Hello Loredana.

I imagine you're aware that there's a movement right now in the Romanian justice ministry to de-criminalize consensual adult incest. If this were to happen, Romania would join Spain, Portugal, France, and a handful of other European countries that do not throw consenting adults into jail for having sexual relations with one another. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

As to your question, well, it's kind of like asking a homosexual couple how their relationship is different from that of a "normal" heterosexual couple. Or asking a mixed-race couple how their relationship is different from a "normal" same-race couple. Or for that matter, asking a couple who are a decade or two apart in ages how their relationship is different from that of a couple who are closer in ages.

In the fine details, I suppose there are some differences. Obviously, in places and situations in which a couple is known to be brother and sister (but not known to be a "couple"), a certain amount of stealth and circumspection is required. You don't want to be spotted cuddling and kissing by people who know you to be related, nor do you want to accidentally refer to your lover as "my brother" to people who know you to be a couple.

If you live together, you want to have a dummy bedroom (or even a hide-a-bed) so that visitors who know you as brother and sister see that you sleep separately. You want to make sure that any books, toys, or other items of a sexual nature are safely put away when not being used. You want to refrain from certain topics of conversation when with company, again of a suggestive or sexual nature.

You also want to be aware that if you do want to stay monogamous to your lover, it's a bit of a challenge thinking up ways to rebuff other people who may express a romantic interest in you. If you're not clearly "with someone," why wouldn't you want to go out for dinner or a movie with some attractive person of the opposite sex who is attracted to you? If you have a spouse or "significant other," and the other person knows it, then he or she will likely understand. If your lover is a secret from the world, it may be harder for them to understand.

Those are some of the differences. These differences are far outweighed by the similarities to all of the other varieties of intimate, romantic, sexual relationships between two loving adults.

And that, I think, should be the point. There is nothing abnormal about our relationships, only that some people don't approve of them, for whatever reasons.

Hope this helps.

Cele mai bune urări

[mauve decade]

Osiris,

Thank you for your concise and well written response to this thread.

I also know all about the "dummy" bedroom and just felt so understood or as though I am in the right place when I read that.

My contribution to the question is that for me our being related makes me feel like he is like an extension of myself when we are together. We are both generous in spirit in the same way... demanding at times- picky about food and clothes and have bouts of jealousy plus humor. We even had same sex relationships in our younger years even though we were half way across the world and have twenty years between us.

Its just a different level of connection because we are literally part of the same DNA- for lack of a better term. Even when I had never met him or had been in my family's country we shared some basic personality traits - let alone the physical similarities between us. For me that similarity both physically and spiritually made it very easy for me to open up to him. For better or for worse, that level of trust and feeling of closeness had never developed so fast for me with anyone in my life.

[loredanaghidarcea]

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[osiris]

Originally Posted by loredanaghidarcea

osiris: pls, let me start by saying that I never intended to say that there was something abnormal about GSA relationships. I was speaking more in terms of connection and bonding that perhaps other relationships lack ...

Oh, I know. Sorry if I sounded a bit harsh, I realize you weren't criticizing.

My only point was that most of the differences between our relationships and those enjoyed by more "conventional" couples arise entirely because of the unconventional nature of the relationships.

In other words, if our relationships weren't illegal, or considered immoral and disgusting by many people, then, well, it wouldn't be considered novel at all, and we probably wouldn't be having this conversation.

But I'll second what Mauve Decade said. Whether it's that I love my lover all the more because she's my sister, or that I love my sister all the more because she's my lover, I can't really say, but I can say that I feel more affection and more passion for this precious young woman than for any other human being I have known. I'll never know whether I'd feel any different if we weren't related, and quite honestly I don't care to know.

[cap]

edited by cap

[loredanaghidarcea]

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[WorriedDad]

Thank you, cap.

I don't think I will ever meet my brother, though, He has no interest in meeting me and after all these years I don't think there would be any point to it.[/quote]

Now this I cannot understand, I have two adult children and I always wanted to meet the one I knew about, now that I know about the other on I want to meet her so badly and to be a part of her and her children's lives .This past year I have learned that for me there is nothing more important then family. How or why a person would not want to meet or know someone they are related to, especially such a close blood relation, I cannot understand.

[lostsister]

Originally Posted by loredanaghidarcea

I don't think I will ever meet my brother, though, He has no interest in meeting me and after all these years I don't think there would be any point to it.

Hi Loredana,

When FIRST I went searching for the Missing pieces of me over 23 years ago, the bits were scattered so far and wide and buried under so much secrecy and shame that it was 17 years before I made any real progress.
Many doors closed in my face, no one was interested in me either it seemed.
but then one wonderful day, the whispers that I had set in motion, suddenly fell into the ears of one of my Half Siblings, the youngest.
It took him three years from the firt inkling that I existed, before he could muster the courage to come to me.
I had opened the door via his mother,
( Our Fathers 3rd wife)
but he would not walk through it until he was ready...

Don t be surprised if your brother takes the step one day....

Meanwhile, I still have not met my brother Face to Face, due to him living on the other side of the planet to me....
but, somehow, I have received what I NEED from him anyway......

I find it interesting Loredana that you came to this site, It appears that your brothers rejection has triggered some preliminary GSA feelings deep within you..



LoVe
Across the OceaNs

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[loredanaghidarcea]

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